Saturday, January 20, 2018

“I just want to keep getting better.” — Kawhi Leonard

           Today was much better than yesterday.  I did discover that “grief spasm” is a real term used by therapists and counselors and they come in many forms.  Happily, they don’t usually take over and control your life from then on but pass and life continues.  Today, I was surrounded by workmen building our screened-in back porch and was able to talk and laugh with them while being amazed at how well they worked with rough tools.  I was also needed to make decisions about how to keep the dogs separate and how to keep Sissie from attacking her much bigger peers and just where to put her new doggie door.  I also decided not to paint all that wood going up but to varnish it instead to retain the warm feeling the wood gave me.  We had a quick rain shower while they worked which convinced me we needed to thatch even that small amount of metal roof because it made so much noise we couldn’t talk and could hardly think.  I’ve been alone so much lately that being around five or six other men was good therapy for me.  Sissie was able to sit in my lap (tightly leashed) for almost an hour and was happy to be outside.  She had to go in because of the noise the rain made—she was scared but that too, had a good effect on me.  I’m still just eating tiny amounts four or five times a day (total about 1,000 calories) and taking my antibiotic regimen which will continue for another full week.  I’m not getting as sick and my stomach lining is starting to heal which are both good things.  It’s better for me to focus on the future than dwell on the past, and being involved in a construction project was a plus.  One day at a time as they say in twelve-step programs is my new mantra.  Don’t stop praying, I need every one.  Thank you for being there for me.  It really helps to know that you are concerned and caring.
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