Monday, October 23, 2017

“Destiny waits in the hand of god, shaping the still unshapen..” ― T.S. Eliot



          It just hit me that I need to raise $10,000 over the next two years just so that I can have my implanted defibrillator replaced again before 2020.  It can be done in Dar Es Salaam, so I don’t have to go to Nairobi, but it will still just give me another four years or so.  I’ll be 75 years old, not in the best of health, and really wonder if it’s worth it.  I don’t ever like to ask for money and especially not for myself.  That money could do a lot of good for the folks with real needs around here.  I think maybe I’ve done enough.  With no insurance and needing others to pay for my medical expenses, I think it’s time just to take my chances.  I know that the last time my defibrillator died—I almost died as well, but that’s okay.  If, over the next two years, the money appears, then I will take that as I sign that I’m to continue, but I won’t be asking anyone for any.  This will be the one and only time I will even bring it up, and I feel a lot better knowing that I won’t be making the decision—God will.  I will accept whatever is my lot, and I will be grateful for all I have already received.  If the money shows up, earmarked for the operation, over the next two years, I’ll have my answer.  If not, I’ll still have my answer.  There are so many other wonderful uses for that kind of money, it would be selfish of me to take it for myself.  There.  Now I feel better.
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