Sunday, July 15, 2012
Quote of the Day: "When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." --- Kahlil Gibran
A good friend of mine recently lost a loved one in a tragic accident. He asked me to help him, and this is what I wrote. Karen really liked it and asked me to publish it here for anyone else in the same situation. I don't claim to have all the answers, but this is what I wrote for my friend:
I wish there some magic words I could invoke to make you feel better. Alas, there are not. I will say this, though, if anyone says that this was the will of God, they are liars. God does not will young people to die. The first tear shed was His. If God wanted to give us the precious gift of free will, He knew that it would sometimes bring pain--and it does. Your daughter did not deserve to die--she deserved to live and that's what God wanted, too.
God wanted the same things for her that we wanted for her and for ourselves: a good life, happiness, bringing joy to others--and by all accounts, she did just that, just too briefly. When we feel the warmth of the sun on our faces, we want that feeling to last forever, but we know it won't. In the end, do you think the world is a better place because she was in it? I do, and I share the pain of your grief. That pain will never go away, but you will learn to live with it after a while. The pain is there because you loved her, and I'm sure she loved you as well.
She did not choose to die and God did not kill her. God does allow to do wrong and we do, all too often, but that is what makes our doing right so incredible. You are right to grieve. You are right to be angry. You are right to be bitter and cynical, but you are not right if you blame God for taking her or allowing the accident to happen. That's what life is, accidents and happiness coexisting in the same world. I am sorry that you are in pain. I am sorry that all who loved her are in pain. I wish that they had never known that pain, but if I could have kept them from ever feeling that pain, I would have also prevented them from ever knowing the happiness that she brought them. You go ahead and be mad at God--He can take it and will know that it is a product of your pain, but don't let anyone tell you that this was God's will--He is no murderer, and, as I said before, it was He who shed the first tears. If this causes you to turn from God, so be it. He will not abandon you and will follow you the rest of your life waiting for the moment when you seek him once again. He will be waiting for you to fall into the loving arms of His embrace, even if you never do. He's like that because He loves us.
If this helps, I am glad. If it doesn't, I wish I could speak more eloquently but it's the best I've got. Pray for all those feeling this pain.